Carbo Loading

I will start by saying this is clearly entirely my fault. I should have known that something I've done hundreds of times with no ill result would naturally be a problem this one time. I hang my head with the shame of it all.

On Second thought- Damn those damn dogs.

As usual, here's the back story-
Every once in a while we get a loaf of "fancy" bread from the grocery store bakery. It's a focaccia with cheese and olives, and it tastes amazingly good with oil & vinegar. We don't get it often because it's a loaf of bread that we don't really NEED, but sometimes you gotta splurge a little.

Since life has been stressful the past few weeks, and I had to run into the store after work to grab a couple of things last night, I grabbed a loaf of the "fancy" bread as a treat. Last night we both enjoyed some of it and I am gonna go out on a limb (speaking for my husband wise) and say we were eager to enjoy it again over the next few nights. I wrapped it up in its plastic and a towel to keep it fresh, on the counter as I have done 100 times over.

Who can see this coming?
You over there?
Everyone?
Yeah....

Chapter 2 starts this morning
I woke up with the assistance of Piper- she does enjoy standing up on the side of the bed RIGHT as my alarm goes off to make doubly sure I've heard it. That way I'll get out of bed faster and take her on the walk.... oh and her brother too....
Well, I got up, used the bathroom to wake up a bit, and when I opened the door, Piper was laying on the floor, and immediately rolled over and gave me her tummy for a rub. I thought to myself- Wow, she's being really great this morning, normally she bouncing and running and making me insane. Then Odie came over and snuggled up too, so they both got a few moments of petting they don't normally get.

Normally, they are running around like their butts are on fire eager to be taken out (even though they have a door to the backyard and can go out any time they want). There is a lot of bouncing and some moments of me being punched in the butt by Piper's enthusiasm. Normally, they are high energy and all over the place and generally making me want to get back in bed.

The lack of normal behavior should have been my clue something was up. The fact that I missed that can only be blamed on groggy brain having just woken up.

I walked into the main room to get the gear for our walk, when I stumbled onto an empty plastic bag. A quick glance over and I saw a towel on the floor as well.

Yeap, the plastic bag and towel that had contained 3/4 of a loaf of 'Fancy' bread.

Neither had so much as a crumb of bread in it at this moment.
Not
One
Crumb

I'm pretty sure the sound that came out of me at this point sounded something like: "WHATTHEHELLDIDYOUPEOPLEDO? WHYDOYOUKEEPDOINGTHIS? WHATISWRONGWITHYOU?"
None of that was useful, of course. Both dogs hit the floor, ears back, faces full of guilt as I cleaned up.

Note the "please don't kill me" tails that are wagging.....

After some deep cleansing breaths I got them geared up and out on their walk. Normally they get some treats as part of our daily training that happens during walks. (yes at 6:30 in the morning I'm doing training. Every day. Every damn day. Yep.) No treats today- verbal praise only. The last thing either one of these miscreants needed was more caloric intake.

As I worked through my frustration while we walked, I had to remind myself of the plus side of my criminals. Things like "no one has peed in the house anytime recently." and "At least it wasn't anything toxic this time" or "They are really sweet when they are sleeping together on the pillow". By the time we got home I had worked through the worst of my desire to bonk them on the head.

For the next hour or so of me getting ready for work, eating and watching the news Both dogs avoided me. Piper went to sleep under the table- which she never does- and Odie hid on this couch. I was thinking "aw, poor kiddos think I'm still mad" but then while I was driving to work I realized- they were in a carb induced food coma!

They had eaten an ENTIRE loaf of bread (essentially) between the 2 of them- it would be like eating a giant bowl of pasta for a person. Then they'd walked on a pretty warm morning with few breaks (I was determined to make them work a bit) and they were totally zonked out. If they had been people they would have unbuttoned their pants and said things like "ugh... why did I do that?"

For the amount they ate, I should really make them run a marathon when I get home- they'll certainly have enough carbohydrates in their systems to sustain the energy expense.

The Great Grape Adventure

This morning, I had a morning that will live in infamy.

Seriously, this one will go down as one of the greats.

Slight amount of background- The Hubs leaves for work every day at 5:30am and I usually sleep through that and get up around 6:30am, walk the pups for a while, then shower and get ready for the day. We've got this down to a routine that we can all deal with. Most days, the time the Hubs is awake and getting ready to go the dogs split their time- OD (the small kiddo) either stays in bed, or moves out to the couch in the office, where he snuggles under a blanket. Piper will wander about, following her Boy and getting pets on the head until he leaves, then she tries to wake me up by standing up on the side of the bed, then gives up and gets back in bed until my alarm goes off. Yes, she understands the alarm and that it means I am awake and moving. Crazy.

This morning, The Hubs came in to say good bye- I grunted some sort of loving word-like noises at him, and then he left. Within about 5 minutes, OD was standing up on BOTH sides of the bed to try and get my attention. I ignored it, thinking he was just being hopeful. He left and got on his couch. A beat or 2 later, my muddled mind realized I hadn't heard Piper in a while (silence is the first sign of trouble), So I perked up and listened.

I heard rustling. The sound of Feet landing heavy. More rustling.

Oh crap
Not good.

I get up and head out to the main rooms, and as  I leave the bedroom, Piper comes around the corner, walking so hunkered down she was practically crawling....

oh crap
not good.

I look in the kitchen and see a plate on the floor. I wrestle with my sleep addled brain and then realize- GRAPES! I had left some grapes out on the counter the night before.

She had pulled down the plate, picked the grapes OFF the stem (she's so delicate) and eaten maybe 15 LARGE green grapes.

Now, in case anyone doesn't know- and apparently not many do- grapes (and even more so, raisins) are toxic to dogs- they can cause renal failure and death. Some dogs are more sensitive then others, and the exact chemical cause remains unknown.

I knew this. I also knew that Piper has survived MANY incidents with the toxic chocolate in her day. I wasn't panicked at all, but I knew I wasn't going back to sleep. I grabbed my phone and got in bed to research what had to happen next.

As per usual when you research medical things on line- most of the information was VERY fatalistic. I found one article that was more even in tone, so  decided to listen to that one. Basically, it told me what COULD happen, and what to look out for, but also what I could do to help. There was one very simple thing I could do to help make sure her system rejected as much of it as possible.

Make her Barf.

Oh great. It's 5:40 am on a Thursday and my main goal in life for the next while would be to cause dog barf to happen. Oh joy!

I grab the hydrogen peroxide (look up information before using this- there is a specific weight to amount ratio, and it can easily be overdone and therefore dangerous) a spoon and a cup, and I make the dog come outside with me.

I apply the first amount and wait with her, in my pajamas, in the predawn-ish, to see if she'll vomit, and if she does what will be in it.

ugh, are you kidding me?

15 minutes later, we got nothing. So application # 2 is done- and let me tell you, she was less then thrilled about this the second time. I can't imagine why- I'm sure it tastes soooo good.......

I move her onto the driveway- a fenced in area where I can see more of what she's doing since there's no grass to hide in.
Within 5 minutes we had liftoff. We had liftoff all over the damn place. Every color and texture of liftoff you could possible handle at 6:05 in the morning. I got to inspect it even.

As far as I could tell, we had gotten all of it, or at least the vast majority of it, out of her system. I sat with her for a while out there, waiting for the effects of the peroxide to wear off. Those effects are as unpleasant to witness as they are to experience, I would wager. While I was waiting, I hear a little scratching at the door. OD is sad he's been alone for so long and wants to come out. At this point I figure what the hell and let him join in the fun. He's more interested in hunting rodents in our ivy anyway.

After about 20 more minutes, I figure the worst of it is over, so we all go inside. Mistake. Within 5 minutes of being inside, round 3 starts up, and now I'm cleaning the carpet. EVERYONE OUT- the dogs got locked in the back yard, and I got to cleaning. Eventually, the vets off ice opened, and I called in our little experience- an hour later the Vet called me back and let me know she thought everything would be fine since I got the barfing happening so quickly. Pat on my back for barf timing!

The second question- WHEN would the barfing stop? 'Cause I have to go to work eventually.... By 3 hrs, we should be in the clear? Ok, great, I can work with that- a tiny bit late to work was worth it.

I should note- through ALL of this mess, Piper stayed her attention starved moonie-eyed self. She just wanted to be with me the entire time, even when I was practically throwing her outside mid- vomit. Her sweet disposition just doesn't change for anything when she's home with us. No matter what the circumstance. You have to admire that just a little bit.

So a few hours, and a lot of vomit later and everything was cleared up. We'll keep an eye on her for a couple of days, but it looks like we're most likely in the clear at this point. If we see any signs of odd behavior or changes in eating/ drinking habits we'll rush her to the Dr, but for now she seems to be doing fine.

As for me, I don't know what will happen now, I'm tired, for sure, but now I'll be so paranoid to be asleep when The Hubs leaves for work in the morning.... I think I have a new alarm for a few days....

Assault with hot acid

So, of my 2 kids, the majority of the .... quirks belong to Piper. She had the rougher start to life, and is therefore saddled with more of the emotional and developmental baggage. Poor nutter.

There is one thing though, that belongs entirely to Odie.
Water

He is TERRIFIED of water. In all forms, at all times, for all reasons.

I use the same joke all the time, He seems to think it's hot hot acid that will burn and kill him slowly. Every time he hears water coming from whatever source he takes off like his ass is on fire, to hide deep in the depths of whatever blanket he can find. If I am holding him and dare to walk towards a water source (sink, shower, hose) he will start to breathe differently, his body goes stiff and he tries to climb up and over me to get away from it- even when the water is OFF.

He is totally mental.

The most entertaining, and frustrating, moment of dealing with this is when it's raining out and its time for a walk. Now, my little criminal is always game for a walk- he'll even hang in on a long hike that his little legs are struggling to keep up with. So we'll get him all geared up and open the door, only to see his face change completely from "YAY! WALK!" to "OH DEAR GOD WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!" He has been known to try to back out of his collar in an effort to not be scalded by the acid falling from the sky in the worlds attempt to kill him specifically.

'Cause you know, that happens.

I can't help but laugh every time. I know I shouldn't cause it's open mockery of his terror, but I can't help it. The same thing he runs to drink at the end of every day could also kill him if it touches him on the outside? It just defies logic. His face when he's that scared is just so damn cute too. It's hilarious.

When it's raining out, and we're going for a walk, I notice all the more the individual nature of each of my creatures.
Odie, convinced he's going to die, does his best to run between raindrops or rush to every protected spot on the path.
Piper reminds me of the kids who run out in galoshes specifically to jump in puddles. She loves it and/or doesn't even notice it.

Every now and again, she will pick up on Odie's panic and balk at going out, but if we do everything fast enough for her to not notice, she's game for getting wet and smelling new smells and getting wet again. It's so enthusiastic and adorable, it's hard not to laugh just as much at her as I am at Odie's sheer terror.

On regular days, it's just good to know if I ever want a moments peace I just turn on the water. Brushing my teeth sends him running. Washing my hands practically has him on the ceiling. The Hubs changing the water in the fish tank nearly has him at the emergency vet's office.

Good thing for him his master, The Hubs, has an irregular amount of sympathy for him and consoles him constantly. Also good for him the power of a blanket over the head really does work to block out the evil acid. Between those 2 things, he's protected, and we're very careful not to mess with that. The game isn't fun if there's no safe zone, after all.

Forever!

Oh my god it's been forever since I updated here. I'm sure my mother is terribly disappointed in me- HI Mom! Sorry!

My criminals have been growing up and finding more and more time to behave themselves worked into our days. It might not be as ample for writing, but it sure is nice to live with. We have started a refresher training course for Piper, so I'm sure there will be more material from that Soon.

I do have one thing to write about- So i'll do that right now, but I wanted to take a second to recognize the time lapse, and let you know I'm thinking about it, and working on it

Sorry mom!

International Law

I just took my first, real, grown up trip to Europe.

We went to Italy for a week, hitting Rome and Naples/ Pompeii (which is spelled Pompei in Italy, BTW- and yet Spell check keeps saying NO YOU'RE WRONG).

Of course, because The Hubs and I are both unapologetic dog people, we spent much of the trip pointing out local dogs to each other.

Yes, it went as you imagine. We're standing next to ruins of buildings that were built in like 4000 BC and going "babe- chihuahua in a jacket!" "Aw, So cute!"

Because that is how we vacation.

yeah, I know.

Anyway, it was interesting to see how italians treat their dogs differently. It was different even between the 2 cities. Being a foreigner I was able to seperate myself and take note of it all, and try to take away something as well.

The only time we saw dogs in jackets, was in Rome. There are dogs who live and are cared for in Pompeii's ruins- they have been there for generations and continue to be part of the local lore. Naples was a more gritty relationship to dogs, no jackets, but still a part of the fabric of the city.

Overall the breeds we saw most commonly were Jack russell/ Fox terriers and german Shephards. I was SHOCKED as they are both demanding breeds who require a good bit of exercise to be happy, and we were in areas that are most definitely CITY. There were also some chihuahuas and mutts and retriever mixes.

I wondered how these folks do it, cause there's not a lot of green space available, and the apartments have to be pretty tiny. Then I realized something- these people take their dogs EVERYWHERE with them. I saw dogs enter grocery stores, pharmacies and restaurants. One night as we ate dinner outside, we looked into the interior of the restaurant to see a bichon sitting at a table, waiting for her mother to finish dinner. Like, sitting up on the chair, face table height (when she wasn't lying down) off leash like a person waiting. NO one flinched. No one even minded when said dog got down and walked around the restaurant. They just stepped over her, or shooed her out of the way, and she moved, and it was no big deal.

If that happened in the US, the place would be closed down for health violations and the owner would never open a food establishment again.

Now, this dog never used the place as a toilet, she never licked anything, she never blocked a doorway or tripped anyone. She knew her place and was never demanding attention from anyone. She was just living in the space with her mom, each doing their own thing.

I never saw people bending down to pet other peoples dogs, but I did see folks respecting the space a dog was in. It was almost as if the dogs were as much a part of society as the people around them. You don't stare at passerby, you just know they are there, and take note of them soas to not walk into them. The leashes were always long enough for the dog to walk comfortably, but not so long as to be very far away from the human on the other end. They never had more then a foot or 2 of leeway.

The only bouncy jumpy dog I saw on leash was a puppy. Like 4 months old most likely puppy. They can't help being bouncy, it's part of puppy-ness. Everyone else would just walk politely and stop and start according to the person they were with. They were treated as DOGS, and they reacted in kind.

We even walked the Dog park in Rome ('cause I am such a nerd I wanted to see a roman dog park.... Yes, I know.) and saw them all running around and playing. There were no real fights, and only one dog acted a fool that we saw, and ironically he was owned by an American expat. They all came when called.... within the first few calls anyway. They all played well and never left the vague boundaries of the park.

In Naples, there were more homeless folks with their dogs, and a more urban attitude overall. A couple of strays walking around and such. Again, the dogs were just there, a part of life that everyone saw and acknowledged, but didn't fuss over. Again the dogs were calm, well behaved and pretty healthy.

What I took away from it (and hopefully its not too late to apply this to my kids) is that if you state the expectation, set them up to achieve it and then just let them be dogs- chances are you will end up with a well balanced animal in your life. Take them out into the world, let them be part of the every day life, don't fuss, don't bother, just have them there.

Here is the US we tend to make sure a deal about our BABIES and their needs.... which we've put onto them the majority of the time. They mainly need food, play, affection, warmth, room to roam and guidelines for behavior. Once they have that, everything else is what we decide for them. No dog NEEDS to eat organic steak and carrots every night... trust me, wait long enough with the kibble out, and eventually they'll eat it. We've fussed over them so much that we've lost sight of the dogness of it all.

So, the italian lifestyle taught me things, not only about myself, but about dogs. La Dolca Vita is really just being a part of your loved ones world, but still retaining what makes you unique- be you dog or human. When you have that, everything else falls into place.

Also, the food was amazing.

Which has nothing to do with dogs but is totally true.