Possession of unregistered explosives

All weapons are supposed to be registered properly and in accordance with the law. It's hard to do when that weapon is attached to your face. A dog's nose can be a powerful tool in the right circumstances. We learned that this weekend.

So, we take the dogs on their first full family hike this past Saturday. We loaded everyone up into the car and headed into the nearby mountain. The goal was to get out, get some exercise, and get the dogs working for a while- see what happened. Odie had been on a hike with us before, and done really well. That little guy is made of batteries. Piper was the unknown in this equation, as well as the fact this this particular trail was challenging when we did it last time over a year ago, so we were eager to hit it again.

We started out with the dogs divided up to their appropriate humans. I was more then happy to let Piper drag me up the hill as much as she wanted to- why do the work when the dog is eager to do it? Odie and His Boy were behind us, happily trucking along, and making me feel like I had to keep up the pace.

About halfway up this very drastically inclined hill (wow, was it this bad last time we did this? this is kinda sucky hard) we run into a lot of dry brush along the trail. We're blazing through, pushing it all aside and keeping on the trail. The Dogs on the other hand, find all the new and interesting smells a lot of fun and keep sticking their faces into said dried brush. Having been through numerous eye infections with our previous dog, I was trying to keep an eye on this, make sure no one scratched their eyeballs.

What I hadn't factored in with Piper's enormous nose.

So, at one point we stopped to water everyone, and Piper's entire front half disappears into some shrubs. I let her sniff away, thinking she'd found yet another lizard to chase (our newfound favorite activity, chasing geckos), until she reappeared COVERED in dry brush bits and pieces. Individual petals, sticks, leaves, etc on just about every dry square inch of her front half.

And then

it began

Sneezing.

Such insanely violent sneezing that her entire body was involved. So many in a row that I lost count. It had to have been a full minute of her sneezing. At which point I figured we were in the clear and we moved on.

Nope.

not so much.

We had probably 10 more instances of the sneezing fits. She sneezed so hard she started foaming at the mouth. She sneezed so hard she had a snot trail coming from her nose and wrapped around her head. She sneezed so hard there was a Pigpen style dust cloud following her where ever she went. She sneezed so hard she was drooling.

Every sneeze was painful looking- it involved her entire body. She'd squint for a split second before it started, and sometimes even smack her head on the ground with the energy behind it. I swear if she were a human there would have been cold sweats involved.

Eventually we turned around and headed back to the car. The sneezing continued all the way back, and even happened a couple of times in the car. It was so pitiful and so gross all at the same time. At this point, I realized...... some of that dry brush was foxtail plants.

Crap.

Foxtail is a plant that is nothing but trouble. The stickers.... seeds... off shoots... whatever the hell they are, are barbed. Barbed things up noses..... not so great for doggie. That's most likely the reason behind the sneezing. Which is bad.

Well, we watched it for a day or so, and ended up in the vets office, where I found out she had most likely sneezed out whatever was bothering her. I also learned that foxtail is INSANELY dangerous for dogs. Much more so then I ever thought. I mean, talk about death by a thousand cuts- these stupid things can literally enter their blood stream and cause all kinds of problems.

So thankfully, the sneezing ended, the foxtail left on it's own accord (although how it could have stayed up there with that level of force trying to get it out, is beyond me) and I learned just how dangerous a dogs nose can be. Especially when loaded with natural explosives.

Makes me wonder, if she had sneezed out the foxtail while I was bent over looking at her nose- could it have flown into my face, worked its way into my bloodstream and causing all kinds of trouble? Possibly.

It's possible, her nose could have killed me.

Weapon, right there.

Someone should know about that.

Self defense

With every new dog, comes new experiences and new challenges. Sometimes this can be a pleasure, sometimes it's a hurdle you have to convince yourself to jump over. Mainly, it's a little bit of both. Especially with dogs from a shelter environment, since you never know what their background is- regardless of the paperwork, you never REALLY know. There could have been abuse, threats, mistreatment of many kinds- or there could have been a truly nice family who just couldn't handle the dog for some reason.

Our new girl, Piper, has adjusted really well in a lot of ways. She learned her name within a few hours, she decided to trust me that first day- at least a little bit, with many gains since then. She and Odie have gotten along like a house afire since the first day, and she figured out how to use the dog door within moments of getting her Cone of Shame off.

One thing she hasn't totally learned yet, is to trust us to decide who gets to come into the house/property- she still feels like it's her job to protect the homestead from strangers. Some of the tricks she has learned to accomplish this task include standing on the back of the couch and looking out the front windows (she got that one from her brother), as well as peering through the slits in the backyard fence to spy on the neighbors. Both of these have become fairly entertaining to watch, I have to admit. She's also become quite good at sounding off when something feels wrong. She's got a good strong bark to her, and doesn't use it like a lunatic- unlike some other canines I live with. A few distinct barks, with maybe some rumbling growls thrown in, and she's made her opinion known.

In some ways, I kind of like this trait. I mean, who wouldn't want a natural deterrant in the house? She sounds threatening, and no one needs to know that she's locked in a crate at night. The problem is when people actually come over to the house, having been invited, and her doggie brain just shorts out.

We had a few friends come to the house a few days ago. They have been to our house any number of times and know to just come on in. We did not even think twice about this, until we started to introduce the new dog, and she lost it. She snapped and did a mini lunge. I feel pretty strongly that she was not trying to actually bite, but more just reacting and trying to get this strange person to give her some space. At this point we couldn't get to out of this mind state of "strangers! must protect! go now!" and she kept growling even when we had the new people give her treats.

Seriously, she took the treats, and then growled some more.

That's just rude.

"I'll take that, now leave"

So, we learned we need to introduce people to the house environment differently at this point. At least until she's decided that we are the ones to determine who is friend and who is foe. We also learned that once she's in that state of mind, putting her in her crate does nothing but poke the bear. We tried that to get her to calm down, and it just made her worse. When people came by her crate she went even more mental then before.

I feel bad for her, I mean, clearly she felt she needed to stop something unnerving from happening. There's no trust there yet. At the same time I wanted to clock her one- I have never had a dog bite a guest, and it is unacceptable. Made me wonder for a moment if we'd made the wrong choice. Then I remembered, she was left mainly to her own devices for the first year of her life- very little human contact. No wonder she was put on edge when strangers just barrel into 'her yard' unannounced. Part of it was our fault too- we should have realized this was a new thing for her, and taken steps to lessen the impact.

Basically, she ended up spending the evening in the back yard by herself- with us occasionally checking on her and making sure all was well. She could see and hear us the entire time, as we could her.

If only she could have seen her little brother in action. That slut spent the evening literally walking from lap to lap getting cuddles from everyone that was there one at a time. I wish I could even say that was an exaggeration, but no, he climbed from one chair to another, into laps. The most shameless display of dog ever. If Piper had seen that maybe she would have realized that the people there were good, friendly people who's only ill intent was to good naturedly mock each other. And damage their livers with beer intake- although that being 'ill intent' is arguable.

I know she's thinking she's protecting herself, and us, but man- somehow we have to figure out how to let her know that's not her function in this new family. We have people over a decent amount, and she's gonna have to learn to deal with that fact.

How cool would it be if we could train her to only let certain people in? I mean, think- to never again have to put up with someone you don't like very much coming to a party you are hosting?

Hm.... Maybe I've figured out the key to this...... Can dogs understand photographs?

Domestic Disturbance

If you've been reading at all, you now know there is a new dog in the house. New-er even. She is bigger and younger and a tiny bit more damaged (emotionally) and therefore even more work then the last new dog was. Fortunately a lot of energy is burned by chewing on her brother, so we have that going for us this time around.

Very early into the game we had a moment of realization of something that had never crossed our minds. This younger, bigger dog was going to take cues from the smaller dog. She's learned things like jumping up on us to get our attention. Not a big deal when you're dealing with a 13lb dog. Kind of a big deal when the dog is 35lbs on a skinny day.

So, dogs don't understand that the size difference means there should be behavior modification?
Right.
Ok.
They don't reason through things the way we do.....
I knew that.
Damn.

Another super fun thing she's learned is to have a total mental breakdown every time we pull out the harnesses and leashes for a walk. Again, not that big a thing with a small dog- mainly just annoying. When you're a big kid, that episode you have can mean things being knocked off of shelves and carpets being tossed around like so much garbage.

We go through this EVERY day, at least twice. Once in the we hours of the morning, which is charming beyond words, and once after work. The good thing is the after work walk is usually tempered by a play session in the yard, making it marginally easier to get the 2 dogs all pulled together and out the door. But first thing in the morning, when I have literally just rolled out of bed to take them, it is absolutely insane. They're both hopping, whining, twisting, and in general not staying still. This makes it almost impossible to do the things they are so excited for us to do. I have been bruised, and knocked in the teeth in my efforts to actually get them out the door.

at 6am
are you serious?
come ON! Just stop moving for 40 seconds.

There is a LOT of yelling in our house at 6am these days.

She responds pretty well to approaching her with a calm energy, it calms her a bit. You can get her to at least sit down that way.

Then, out of nowhere, comes the tiny firecracker of a dog.

He's all wiggles and excitement and "YAY OUTSIDE!!!" and then She's gone again.

Into the mental zone.

I had her.

for 20 seconds, I had her.

Basically, we've both been a little beat up by this exuberance. Our throw rugs have been more then a little beat up. Our schedules have been eternally disrupted, with a new walk schedule, and everything taking twice as long to accomplish. I'm considering rearranging certain things to make it harder for a much bigger dog to get to. To say our domestic bliss (such as it was, granted) has been upended is a mild description. Not to mention my sleep schedule. If only she knew, the last thing you want to do is mess with my sleep schedule.....

Personal Misdemeanor

This blog has been primarily about the new dog in our lives and how he is a felon in the court of law ruled over by Me. This has lead many to believe this dog is in risk of losing his life and/or housing at any given moment. Despite all my bluster- and legitimate complaints- this is not true. No matter how many times I tell him "I will open the front door and wish you well, buddy" there is never a chance I would actually ever do that. In reality. In my dreams, maybe, given a bad day.

In all honesty, Odie isn't that bad a kid. He has a special knack for doing really bizarre, and creative, things that make me scream on a fairly regular basis, but he could (and has been ) a LOT worse. Don't worry though- as long as he retains this special skill for bizarre-ness, I will log it and report in.

Today's entry isn't so much about him though. It's more about me. And something I decided to do recently. With the loving support of my co-conspiritor: the husband (otherwise known as Odie's The Boy) who encouraged every step of this decision making process. I feel the need to mention that now, as he occasionally has maybe second guessed it since.

What I did, I actually am proud of, with only moments of regret about 3x a day. Sometimes those moments are longer, sometimes they are brief. Again, even with moments of " what the hell is going on here?" I promise to never open the front door and wish anyone well. Other then house guests who are leaving anyway.

So, what is all this about?

We rescued a second dog.

yep.

I know.

Sounds insane, given everything.

This time it was different though. It was planned out (to an extent) and carefully considered (to a nauseating fault) and it was my choice all the way around.

We happened into our new girl, Piper, while at a humane society to meet some other dogs. Those other dogs were either not there or very clearly the wrong match for us from the first moment I laid eyes on them. So we wandered around, and loved on anyone who wanted some, and considered a few candidates who took us by surprise. As we were about to leave, I stopped and said- I think I wanted to go back and look at one of the dogs in the back for some reason. So we went to the back and saw a dog who hadn't been there earlier, and we were both very mildly drawn to her.

The rest of the story is involved, but basically it ends in the fact that 3 days later this very dog was in our house. She had been given a new name (thanks to my friend AG, who came up with it) and had a new brother who was quite literally half her size. That was last week. Since then, I have learned the harsh lesson that not only will Piper NOT be a calming influence on Odie, but I now have a second felon in my house.

Crap.

Not the intent at all.

What I can hope for now is that the humans in this scenario find some sort of zen, and learn more about training a high energy Mid-sized dog. I also hope that the dogs form a gang of their own and learn to exert the energy they both have amongst themselves. 'Cause that was a lot of the point of getting s second dog- providing an energy burn/ bestie for the first dog- making him happier, and us more able to move about the cabin as we saw fit.

Life throws stuff at you, no matter how well you think you've planned, or what factors you've taken into consideration. The best you can do is change your plan when that stuff lands, and trust in yourself from there. I had planned on finding a second dog who would be more of what I thought I wanted. Instead I brought home a dog who LOOKED like what I wanted, but mainly was just a different version of fuzzy thunder in my house. It'll be frustrating, and tiring, and challenging. It will also be fun, and silly, and joyful. I will regret making life more complicated, but I will also enjoy the comedy that ensues whenever you have 2 animals running amok. There will be more crimes committed- only now there will be a choice to be made over who gets blamed for it.

Right now, the blame is all on me. I did this to us. I brought her home, our femme fatale. I committed this crime to our family. I'm not sure if anyone (other then my husband who lets them out in the morning and after work) has decided it's a terrible crime. Jury is still out on that part of it.

**sidenote- both of the dogs currently in our house would be dead right now if a law is overturned in California. They both exceeded the proposed time limit by leaps and bounds, and we never would have found them. It's hard enough for innocent animals to find their way out of the shelters here, taking time away from them makes it even less likely for that to happen. To find out more, read this: http://www.animallawcoalition.com/public-shelters/article/952

or research on your own.

Thanks for giving me my 10 seconds on a soap box.