Sexual Harassment

Some of the things dogs do may make us a little ick-ed out, but it is just part of their process of social interaction, or hygene or whatever. That's just the reality of the interspecies connection. They don't ever fully understand us, we will never fully understand them. That's ok. I don't really want to think like a dog, and I'm fairly certain I don't want them to tell me about their thoughts.

One of the things dogs do that we find...... questionable.... is humping. Odie, the new dog in my house who refuses to leave, you remember him? Yeah, he LOVES humping. He does it all the time.

This is something that happens at the dog park just about every weekend. Sometimes the other dog involved thinks it's a fun little game and just goes with it. Sometimes the other dog involved is smart enough to avoid it in the first place. Sometimes it generates a fun little game of chase that can go on long enough to diminish the desire. Almost always it is unsolicited and Odie is the only one who thinks it's fantastic.

He humps EVERYONE. They don't want it, they don't ask for it, and he does it anyway. He's like the stereotypical drunk frat boy who thinks everyone wants his smokin hot bod, when really they are all avoiding his stinky self. He keeps making the move, figuring someone will be into it eventually.

No.

NO one is into it.

You are drunk.

Stop it already.

I mean, I realize that in the dog world it means something else altogether, but it's still totally humiliating. No one wants their dog to be the one who imposes himself on everyone else. His terrier nature does not help this situation. He tends to fixate on other dogs he wants to play with. If they avoid the humping, he will just keep trying. There has even been times when he gets going into the hump, the dog he's aiming for has moved, and he ends up humping the air of the space they had previously occupied. That's not even doing it right.

Sigh.

This is not a situation limited exclusively to the animal kingdom. Nope, he has at least attempted to hump everyone who has entered the house and stayed for more then 5 minutes. Well, except for me, I think i'm the only one who has avoided it. If that indicates a slight fear of me- I am SO fine with that. Thrilled even. Everyone else has to be very understanding of dog quirkiness or they will be very surprised when at some point he's being sweet and I end up screaming and squirting water at him, and most likely them. There is a lot of water squirting in our lives now.

This is not a characteristic that is getting me to feel "yay! great dog! let's keep him!" It just keeps me solidly in the "why is the crazy person in my house?" camp. I mean, really, who wants to have the dog that would be in some sort of 12 step program if he were a human?