Aggravated Assault

I am pretty sure Odie is a really really dangerously smart dog. Which is less then thrilling in some ways, because it will always be a test of wills with a smart dog. We will always be working to stay one step ahead of him with each new thing. He will always challenge us to get what he wants from us.

You know how I know this?

His post surgical cone to prevent him from getting to his wounds while they heal.

He has figured out how to use it as a weapon.

Here he is the first day after surgery, when he was still sore and just totally pitiful:

Since then things have changed. He is pitiful no more. Lethargic and mopey no more. He is back to his old rocket fueled self- bolting around the house and the yard like his butt is on fire.

All. The. Time.

Stitches be damned.

What is new is the fact that the cone is still there, and he HATES it. He hates it more then any other dog I have ever seen hate the Cone of Shame. I have watched him throw literal hissy fits because of the thing. He will Stare at offending trees and walls that aren't normally troublesome, but now are. Every time we take it off for some reason, he is just this side of stomping his foot and whining at us when we put it back on.

I think this has caused his little brain to go into overdrive and try to figure out how to get us to take it off and never look at it again. And he may have found a way.

Odie has taken to following both of us VERY closely, but just behind our legs, so with every step there is a SCCRAPPPEEEE of the cone on the back of calves or knees. I still haven't figured out how he positions himself to get both of my legs while I walk without actually slamming into me. It is aggravating and a bit painful when you have shorts or track pants on. It's like having a really long, hard plastic tail attached to you, smacking your legs with each step.

He's been doing this for days now. At one point over the weekend I stopped walked and yelled at him to give me "some damn space" which sent His Boy (my husband) into a fit of giggles while looking at me oddly. Until it happened to him a couple of hours later. Then it wasn't so weird anymore.

There's even a distinct noise that comes with the rubbing of plastic cone against skin. It's sorta like the sound of corduroy pants, only softer, and followed by "Dammit Odie!" every few steps.

You take the cone off, and he gives you plenty of room to walk. You put the cone on, suddenly all the skin on the back of your leg is rubbed raw. This can't be an accident, it just can't. It is premeditated and cruel. He has figured this out and run with it. If he has, if he is that smart, we need to start being more secure with our banking information. For now, I'll just be wearing sturdier pants and sitting down more often.