Vandalism

One of the most disgusting habits of dogs, that dog lover and haters alike will agree is pretty gross, is when they roll in crap they find. There's tons of theories why they do this, but basically, it's just really gross to deal with.

Our felon did this not once, not twice, but THREE times last week.

In our back yard.

then ran into the house with crap smeared all down him.

Nasty.

The first 2 offenses were after work/ in the evening, and he'd come running into the house and onto a couch- which we blessedly keep covered in blankets- when one of us discovered a discoloration on his side that stank to high heaven. Oh man, was he pleased with himself, rolling in poo is awesome!!

Until you have to get a bath because of it. Then it's not so much fun, man.

Fortunately, neither one of those moments involved having to wash anything but the criminal himself. I figured that was punishment enough since he seems to think water is actually a form of torture. He's a smart dog, he'll have made the connection after the second time.

Not so fast- The worst offense was the 3rd time. This happened over the weekend, and was AFTER we thought we'd gotten rid of the source of the rolling material.

Sunday afternoon, he was out back, and we were on the couch watching TV. Odie comes hauling ass in (as he almost always does) and jumps on top of us on the couch. This seems cute and silly, until I sit up and realize he is COVERED in shit.

COVERED

There was not a square inch of him that didn't have some form of crap on him.

My helpful husband starts cracking up laughing at my yelling "Oh my god, he's covered in shit! what the hell?!" and I start to try and figure out where to grab him to get him off the couch. There was no place, he was disgusting. I grab a towel, wrap him in it and grab the dog off of the couch, and tell the cackling husband that he best get in gear since he's the one who has to take care of this. Not so funny now, is it?

Bathwater starts running, and I stand there, holding the blessedly small dog in a towel, at arms reach like he was a ticking bomb. There is much discussion about exactly how bad he stinks. It is on a level I could not even imagine before this. I have smelled some stinky crap in my day- dog owners get used to that- but this was unreal. It was atomic crap. Eye watering crap. Throw out everything he touched even if it is clean crap. Move to a different house crap.

Bath achieved, everything Odie had even looked at pre-bath got shoved into the wash. I was taking no chances with this. Then, the search began for the source. We were walking through the yard with slow deliberate steps, looking at every clump of mud (which were many as it had rained the day before) and every overturned leaf. The dog thought this was a hilarious good time and kept running between us. A fun game to play to burn off the excitement of surviving a bath yet again.

At this point we think we found the culprit crap, and disposed of it thusly. I really hope so anyway, because I can not deal with another round of Stinky Dog, varsity level.